Monday, October 8, 2007

Crushed

There is one truth in this life and that is life is never fair. Occasionally there is even a slap in the face to add to the initial sting. For me, my main liability is that I wear my feelings on my sleeve which is neither great for your professional nor private life. Another limitation is that I believe a piece of me is in the job I do. So when I am rejected for any reason the person has reached right inside one long slow painful stab to my actual self. Those are hard to recover from that kind of brutality.

The spouted comforting mantra is “its business, not personal”. Does anyone really believe that? What kind of garbage is that? How can that mentality be allowed? How is dealing with people on a personal or professional level not personal in some way? I never understood that, I think I never will. Man, whoever believes that is much stronger than me. I am not sure I am ever capable of shutting off those feelings.

Everything I have been told in school does not fit the mold I am in. Did I miss a chapter on getting knocked down? Wow, I am beginning to think all of it is a fairytale and there is not an organization out there which subscribes to treating an employee with positive reinforcement, accepting human error, incentives, acknowledging value to the person’s efforts or am I just to mediocre to find those places?

I need a new profession, I think this one will kill my spirit and I don’t have much left.

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry. I wish you could get out of their! They will never appreciate anyone, and they will always want more. Also the only way they can feel important is by making others feel like crap! I don't understand this either. They have so little self worth that they can't see the worth of others. You are a WONDERFUL person and they don't deserve to have you.

    Dy

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  2. You've described what it feels like to be rejected.
    Perhaps, you would agree that people reject other people for any possible number of reasons.
    But some reasons are questionable in the eyes of the law, society and religion. In this country rejection based on race, religion, height, weight, gender ... on and on is not accepted by the above three groups.
    So... what do you and I do. Avoid all possible contact with ... whatever. With the aim to avoid being rejected. I doubt that even if we attempted to live such a life that it would be absolutely possible. If there is any possible insight to be gained from the experience. If there is a shred of reasoning for the rejection ... then you have something to gain by examining, questioning and even challenging the rejection. If you’ve been left with the feelings of ... "Why me?", "What am I doing wrong?" you owe it to yourself to narrow the possibilities and examine the reasons behind this rejection.
    However, if this is bigotry, racism..., or just plain old spite. Well, the issue is with the other person. And changing other people is not what your personal or professional job is about.

    I would suggest you examine the reasoning behind the rejection. If, that is at all possible to conclude. If there is any bit of professionalism within your organization, you will be afforded that. But mind this!! You may not get a true full response. Sure it may fit the circumstances, sound reasonable and such. But your gut may tell you otherwise.
    So, left with a response that feels less than forthright. Then it’s up to you to make a choice.
    But then it’s always been your choice.... Don’t wait for others to agree that any given situation you might find yourself in is detrimental to you, or bad for you, or dangerous to you! You KNOW !!

    So act! Take Action! Don’t be a person who laments about their lot in life ! Do something to change it ! You Pop’s would ! Wouldn’t he ? I think he would expect no-less from you !

    GET’R DONE!!!

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  3. I just want to say that I love you, and that I am sorry that you are hurting. I wish I could take it away. I wish I could send a "Guido" over to rough up the entire staff over there. I am sorry.

    You will shine again, someday. Please, please, please work hard to be somewhere else so you can grow yourself strong again. You are a great person and deserve to be appreciated.

    Yes, this can be a learning experience, but before you can even begin to pull any life lessons from the situation, you are right on track to first hurt, and then to heal. Then you can grow. I love you always, just as you are, and I am proud to have you as my friend, and I was proud of having you as my co-worker.

    Hang in there.

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  4. Hiya Kymn,

    Ya know...I think the only people who actually believe that it's "just business" are the people sitting in the power seat...i.e. the winning seat...because if you are the person getting the sharp end of the stick...it does feel personal...and it does hurt.

    I wish you didn't have to go through that...I wish that the people whom you work with were more empathetic...then maybe they wouldn't be so harsh about the "way" they did what they do...it bites to have people treat you poorly...and from living through it with Heather...with those same folks...I really do feel for you Kymn...because I know what kind of crappy managers you work for...and I'm sorry...

    ......here's a few more just for kicks :)....LOL...
    \;o')

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Bring it! Toss in your quarter.