Surly

If anyone is looking for a fight today, then throw your fricking chips in the ring, take your chances and bring it on! I guarantee the only person who will lose will not be me. 

I'm done.  I'm done with accommodations, I am done with trying to help, I am done with trying to meet others expectations of what they think I should be doing.  I am done.  I take a lot garbage from people, more often than not my feelings get hurt and they have no idea.  Nor do they asked.  I do a lot for people when I can, I will rearrange my plans, I don't ask for hardly anything in return.  In fact I feel bad if I have to ask for a favor. I am done.

I don't feel happy today.  I don't feel lucky today.  I am tired of being rolled over for another and better gig.  I am done with others feeling comfortable I am going to be alright when they throw a monkey wrench in where they directly affect my life.  I am done. 

I am finished with being taken advantaged, I will no longer be so available, forgiving, or pliable for other people's lives.

Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.
~ William S. Burroughs

Happy Happy Happy Happy

How many "happy"s can I fit into one line? Not enough because I just that damn HAPPY! I am 'bout ready to do the Ren and Stimpy dance.  Man oh man I didn't know it could be just this good.  When I come out of this cloud I will explain but for now know that I am HAPPY!

Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.
~ William S. Burroughs

Swing it boys!

Close your eyes, clear your mind and feel.  When was the last time you actually allowed yourself to feel? Anything.  Feeling is risky, feeling is scary, feeling is human.  Why is that in this current day and age do we do so much to remove the feeling from our lives?  Anger is feeling, sadness is feeling, uncertainty is feeling, love is feeling, lust is feeling, why when these aspects of what makes the world go round do we shut these feelings down?  Ok, so yes there is a bit of hard science mixed in with why the world goes round, damn Galileo, Kepler and all the other hooligans whom have rocked the collective consciousness.  I suppose now you're going to tell me there were dinosaurs?!

The reason I bring this up is that I sitting at the computer doing a number of mindless tasks and have some music floating out of my speakers.  There was a brief moment, oh so brief where I was lost in the feeling of the music.  The music, the voice, everything just permeated through my body.  It took my breath away. 

When I came out of the state, I thought to myself, damn that was cool.  I want more of that please! 

I think I understand why feeling is reserved.  You are vulnerable. Vulnerability allows the unexpected to enter your life.  Instinctively we want to protect ourselves.  So the project for today is to feel.  Allow yourself to feel even if it is a moment.  Go on, you can do it.  Let me know what your experience was like.
Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.
~ William S. Burroughs