Friday, October 26, 2007

Boo-Day Countdown

It is here, the eve of the 2nd boo-day festivities. I am checking the list, checking it twice, nothing to report if they had been naughty or nice. Well they have been mostly nice and I think I am in a different holiday.

I am excited. I love the family events, I am excited that my brother is coming down, I am excited that all my friends children will be coming over to play, I am excited about decorating the house, no so much cleaning it but decorating is great, I am excited about the food.

My babies are turning two and I remember when they were little blips on the screen, two satellites in the dark space of my body, the miracle of having their own rooms to grow. The joy, the fear, the anticipation of holding them in my arms, all those feelings are still swimming in my head and heart.

Tonight my dear husband and I are picking up the last pieces to the celebration puzzle. Bri, did I tell you thank you so much for my three babies? Thank you for my babies. It is the mad dash for the final touches to the party.

Pumpkins check
cake check
raviolis check
balloons check
costumes check

Now tomorrow will be whole different story, I will have pictures.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Happy 2nd Boo-day Abbie and Ethan

I think about things in my life and there are three jewels that make me smile every time, all the time, Emma, Abbie & Ethan.

I never get tired of hearing my name in fact I crave those little voices in my ears. At certain moments I wonder how the heck I got through all the feedings, diaper changes, those points in the middle of the night I am checking the breath coming from their noses. I always seem to check in between breathes so the little panic creeps up my spine to have the tidal wave of assurance when I have bugged them enough to make them move in their sleep. They have no idea how many times I creep into their room to just look, maybe move to the bedside and straighten a cover or just to touch their precious little hands. On a side note, Ethan snores.

So two years has passed and my littlest ones will be having a birthday in 4 days. The last three weeks has been filled with "Happy Birthday" songs, traditional and made up ones, for all the car rides to and from school, in the bath tub, a lot of "Grandma birthday, Nick birthday, Abbie birthday, Ethan birthday" to which I reply "Yes it is everyone's birthday, how old are you?"

This in itself makes me chuckle because a dear friend experienced the same conversations with her daughter and used similar hand demonstrations to show how many two really is. Yes, my kids think I am playing bunny rabbits with them. They collectively shake their heads and say "yeah" and move on to other things. In the end, I am just happy they can sing the "boo-day" song and silently pray they will let me put them into costumes on Saturday.

Happy Boo-day Abbie!
Happy Boo-day Ethan!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Grover is the man

One of my favorite fond memories is of Grover. Grover could bring a smile to me every time, while he was waiting tables, fighting crime, or singing a song. I wanted to share this happy little tune and hope it brings a smile to your face.


Monday, October 8, 2007


There is one truth in this life and that is life is never fair. Occasionally there is even a slap in the face to add to the initial sting. For me, my main liability is that I wear my feelings on my sleeve which is neither great for your professional nor private life. Another limitation is that I believe a piece of me is in the job I do. So when I am rejected for any reason the person has reached right inside one long slow painful stab to my actual self. Those are hard to recover from that kind of brutality.

The spouted comforting mantra is “its business, not personal”. Does anyone really believe that? What kind of garbage is that? How can that mentality be allowed? How is dealing with people on a personal or professional level not personal in some way? I never understood that, I think I never will. Man, whoever believes that is much stronger than me. I am not sure I am ever capable of shutting off those feelings.

Everything I have been told in school does not fit the mold I am in. Did I miss a chapter on getting knocked down? Wow, I am beginning to think all of it is a fairytale and there is not an organization out there which subscribes to treating an employee with positive reinforcement, accepting human error, incentives, acknowledging value to the person’s efforts or am I just to mediocre to find those places?

I need a new profession, I think this one will kill my spirit and I don’t have much left.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Interviews SUCK!

There are many things that are worse than this, but today, today this may be the most nerve racking, mind screw ever. Everyone knows that interviews are tough, attempting to make a first impression a positive memorable experience, fixing the hair you never fix, makeup I never wear, and business clothes which are uncomfortable because they feel stifling; trying to answer questions you know what to do but describing it is something else. If the panel was people you have never met, even better because they are unfamiliar with your processes and if you make a little goof, no worries. When the panel is people you know and one of them is your supervisor, a totally different tragic tale. Listen folks, I have made mistakes, I have tried to redeem myself, but I feel it fell on deaf ears and blind eyes. I am not feeling very confident.

The last four months I have been working my rump off, figuratively, only wishing literally. I got a spare tire for lease too. I think I have earned it, but we all know earning is not always the way the game is played. So for now, I am in limbo hoping to make good. Think good thoughts for me.

TTFN (Ta Ta For Now)

Monday, October 1, 2007

Happy Birthday Mom!

A precedent was set today about mmmmphhhh years ago with the birth of my Mom! Cheers to a woman of patience, a woman of calm, a woman of kindness, a woman of compassion, a woman of intelligence, a woman of fairness, a woman of respect!

Happy Birthday to you!
May your dreams stay bright and true,
All our love to you.

I love you Mom for all that you are.
You are never far,
for a hug or kiss,
never a dream did your kids miss.

Your eyes twinkle, your smile shines.
Never shy with a look or wink of an eye,
to tell me I have done well.

I love you Mom for all your strength.