Grover is the man

One of my favorite fond memories is of Grover. Grover could bring a smile to me every time, while he was waiting tables, fighting crime, or singing a song. I wanted to share this happy little tune and hope it brings a smile to your face.

Enjoy.

Crushed

There is one truth in this life and that is life is never fair. Occasionally there is even a slap in the face to add to the initial sting. For me, my main liability is that I wear my feelings on my sleeve which is neither great for your professional nor private life. Another limitation is that I believe a piece of me is in the job I do. So when I am rejected for any reason the person has reached right inside one long slow painful stab to my actual self. Those are hard to recover from that kind of brutality.

The spouted comforting mantra is “its business, not personal”. Does anyone really believe that? What kind of garbage is that? How can that mentality be allowed? How is dealing with people on a personal or professional level not personal in some way? I never understood that, I think I never will. Man, whoever believes that is much stronger than me. I am not sure I am ever capable of shutting off those feelings.

Everything I have been told in school does not fit the mold I am in. Did I miss a chapter on getting knocked down? Wow, I am beginning to think all of it is a fairytale and there is not an organization out there which subscribes to treating an employee with positive reinforcement, accepting human error, incentives, acknowledging value to the person’s efforts or am I just to mediocre to find those places?

I need a new profession, I think this one will kill my spirit and I don’t have much left.

Interviews SUCK!

There are many things that are worse than this, but today, today this may be the most nerve racking, mind screw ever. Everyone knows that interviews are tough, attempting to make a first impression a positive memorable experience, fixing the hair you never fix, makeup I never wear, and business clothes which are uncomfortable because they feel stifling; trying to answer questions you know what to do but describing it is something else. If the panel was people you have never met, even better because they are unfamiliar with your processes and if you make a little goof, no worries. When the panel is people you know and one of them is your supervisor, a totally different tragic tale. Listen folks, I have made mistakes, I have tried to redeem myself, but I feel it fell on deaf ears and blind eyes. I am not feeling very confident.

The last four months I have been working my rump off, figuratively, only wishing literally. I got a spare tire for lease too. I think I have earned it, but we all know earning is not always the way the game is played. So for now, I am in limbo hoping to make good. Think good thoughts for me.

TTFN (Ta Ta For Now)

Happy Birthday Mom!

A precedent was set today about mmmmphhhh years ago with the birth of my Mom! Cheers to a woman of patience, a woman of calm, a woman of kindness, a woman of compassion, a woman of intelligence, a woman of fairness, a woman of respect!

Mom,
Happy Birthday to you!
May your dreams stay bright and true,
All our love to you.

I love you Mom for all that you are.
You are never far,
for a hug or kiss,
never a dream did your kids miss.

Your eyes twinkle, your smile shines.
Never shy with a look or wink of an eye,
to tell me I have done well.

I love you Mom for all your strength.

Be Free Little Butterfly

One of the wonderful things about kids is that ANYTHING can be a pet. A rock, a shoe, a stuffed animal, even a little brother and sister. We have pets, a dog and three fish to be exact, although Momma is missing the melodious tones of purring, but I digress, the official statement is "We have enough animals".

I pick up the Divine Miss "E" from school and she promptly runs me over to her cubbie. Which of course is full with sweaters, sweatshirts, artwork and funny enough something quite large and shiny. Hmmm, what could she be working on today?

"Momma, I want to show you something."
What do you have?
"Look, look, I have a caterpillar! Can I pleeeeeasssse take him home?"
Viewing the 2 pie tin enclosure with a paper towel, one leaf and an inch and a half caterpillar, well sleeping I guess on the side. I think he would be happier here. We could let him go outside on one of the bushes, I am sure he will be happy here.
"No, pleasssssse I want to take him home, he is my pet."
Emma, you have pets, Daisy, the fish, your brother and sister.
"Momma please, I will take care of him."
Ok, but put the 2 pie tin enclosure on the seat in the back of the van and please do not tell your brother and sister. They can look at him at home.
"Alright Momma."

Everyone gets into the van, seat belts clicked, journey homeward begins. Now the 2 pie tin enclosure, and I am being very generous with this description, is in the lap of a very proud pet caterpillar owner.

It takes a half hour to get home, 25 minutes of an a Capella round house, punk rock version of "Sing, Sing a Song" by the kids, thinking wow, this caterpillar may make it into the house after all and not into the van.

Then I hear five minutes from home, the 26th minute of 30 minute trip home, "Momma"
Yes
"I need to tell you something"
What do you need to tell me. All the while knowing what she is going say.
"Uhm, I was sitting in my seat and I was holding the plates and well I dropped the caterpillar"

Free, one desperate caterpillar with one leaf for nourishment in the van planning his Steve McQueen Great Escape from the hole. I think I saw a little ball and glove on the floorboard.

The Simple Things

The daily grind of work, school, meals and bath time often numbs the mind to the more spectacular things in life. I recently found myself in the midsts of this trail blazing grind and was completely taken aback spellbound by my child's words. Wow, they can really take you for a spin, and what is truly amazing about these little people who have taken over my world is their unconditional love. That's right, unconditional love. I hear the words come out of my mouth but sometimes I wonder if I really know what that means. I have a strong suspicion a child has a better understanding of what unconditional love is than an adult. If ever I doubt my reason for living I just need to look into the 3 pairs of little eyes to get a reminder.

Getting back to the story, I was helping Emma get ready for bed, we read a story and as I was getting up to put her book away I hear the voice.

"Momma, I like your body."

I froze, turned around with a puzzled look. What? You like my body?

"Yes, Momma I love you."

I am stunned, and there it is laid out for me. She loves me, unconditionally. She does not care what I look like, she just wants to be tickled and hugged. She does not care I am not famous actor she just wants me to read to her in funny voices and pretend that I am Uncle Homer. The point of all of this is that my kids love me. They love me for the hugs and kisses, they love me for the meals, they love me for the baths, they love me for the running outside, they love me for the continuity of their schedule, they love me despite the discipline. They just love me, and I just LOVE them.

Sometimes the simple things are the greatest rewards.

If Only...

I wish I had her powers of cuteness. I would like to introduce my first version of the Abbie Twinkle Fairy Series. OOOOOH how I wish I had one kick butt computer at home! My goal is to make them look real.