Friday, October 17, 2008

Love is Everywhere

This is an unusual moment for me, I don’t like to take my political thoughts and put them out there. If I do discuss what I am thinking I do so in a close circle of friends. However in this case, this is just not political, this is personal.

This election year is full of words and no answers. I am thinking, how is this any different than any election year, the pontificating, hammer banging, I think I even saw a shoe come out. The soap boxes are lining the streets. I have carefully placed my soap box and I am ready to orate.

Back a few years, about eight to be exact, the considerate and thoughtful voters of this state, in efforts to moralize this country back to decency, decided to it would be in the best interest of the “moral, ethical fiber” of this country to only recognize the “institution” of marriage between a female and a male. As we all know, males and females are the only individuals who can provide a loving, happy, balanced home, right?. Are you ready to hurl yet? I think I just puked in my mouth. Fortunately, the Supreme Court had an epiphany and remembered one of the “radical” foundations of this country, we as a people fought so hard for:

”We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. “

My point to all of this is to get back to basic speak. I want to share with all of you how offended I am that there are still people in this country who are intolerable and not accepting of where love chooses to reside. Proposition 8 is narrow-minded, hyper religious rhetoric, chipping away our basic bloodshed freedoms of the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness.

Relationships are hard, and everyone is in one. Between parents and kids, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers, friends, co-workers, bosses, cats, dogs, the local barista at the Starbucks (trying to order there is almost impossible for a coffee neophyte like me), listen I don’t have a clear cut answer. I just know that in my relationships, I have to work hard to keep them happy and healthy. I have kids and a husband, my home is no more important than another family who may have two fathers or two mothers, one mother, one father, one grandparent, aunt, or uncle for that matter. In fact, I believe families who are outside the beaten into our heads; institutionalized “norms” of this society are awe inspiring.

Every day is a struggle and if you have a person in your life you can count on, rely on, trust, love, be a partner with, figure things out together than BRING IT! That stability of a loving family, and I mean every combination of people who make a family THAT is what makes us as human race strong. I am not so arrogant as to say I KNOW what Love should be and who should only be allowed to express the feeling. Look in Merriam Webster Dictionary, there are four different definitions of the word marriage; what they have in common ARE THESE words RELATIONSHIP, UNION, MUTUAL RELATION OF INDIVIDUALS, INTIMATE OR CLOSE UNION, JOINED. My goal for my kids is for them to find someone who respects them, loves them, cherishes the gifts they can bring to the relationship, and hopefully can inspire the same in their partner. Love the heart, love the person, it does not matter the gender. They are my children and I will love them and welcome their partners.

This proposition is an attack on our unalienable rights. This proposition is an attack on acceptance. This proposition is an attack on tolerance. Sure, there are some who will come back at me and ask me if I am accepting and tolerant of child abuse, molestation, rape, murder. On those issues in our society, no I am not. Inflicting pain, whether it is physical or emotional is not ok with me. Nor should those acts be in any situation, but tell me, how those acts of violence compare with a home and relationships which is nurturing, stable, and may or may not have same gender couples? A happy home, a happy relationship is just that. It is not defined by gender and should never be. Vote NO on 8, you will be glad you did.

Thus end my oration.


  1. I am feeling a bit naked. Thank you for your support.

    Loving you!


  3. Hiya Kymn,

    I have to say that you make several good points here about equality and basic human rights. Heather, Sarah, and I were priviliged to be invited to attend a wedding ceremony last month united someone I know to her partner of many years as their 7 year old daughter participated and looked on. There is genuine and honest love and caring there. I was personally glad to be a part of it.

    What strikes me is that "most" people who are in favor of legislating something like this, based on their moral or ethical code, do not actually know anyone whom this law, if passed, will actually affect. Yes...I said affect...not effect...there is an arguement for that as well. But to most of those planning on voting for prop 8, they have no vested personal interest...meaning it will not affect...or for that matter effect...their lives directly. So since it has no impact on their personal lives...they feel justified in legislating others personal lives.

    They are standing up to say for others that this "would" both affect and effect that they should not have the right. Seems to me on an issue as personal as who one is going to love and partner with for life that the state should damned well stay the hell out of it. What is next? Are they going to regulate who you get to love or who gets to do _______to you? get the idea!?

    I think we as a society need to rethink putting the government into our bedrooms and love lives. I know more heterosexual people/couples doing much more damage to their families, children, and communities as well as their marriages than their alternative lifestyle counterparts. We need to stop hurting each other on purpose.


  4. Doc,
    You make a very good point. Those individuals who seem to have no vested interest in this proposition in my opinion acutually do.

    The way I see the situation is that the blanket or rouse is marriage = man + woman, but the underlying, hidden agenda is our right to choose, our unalienable rights to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. If we can get ya to vote on this, then we can slip something else by. Limiting our rights to affect and effect our lives will be very detrimental.

    I am sad to see that most people cannot see the bigger picture and they feel it is ok to target a segment of our community. As you succintly stated, what is next?

    We do need to stop hurting one another, we need to start listening to one another, we need to start respecting the magnitude of Love.

  5. Ok, before you start hate’n on me. I’m playing the Devil’s Advocate on this one. Or perhaps Gods Advocate. But hey, that’s me…because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth.

    Consequences of prop 8

    I agree with Doc. The State should stay out of the love game. However, the subject of prop 8 goes beyond love.

    One subject that will be addressed in a new manner will be sexuality. Human sexuality is a not a topic that young children should be forced to contemplate. Nor should it be a topic shaped by the state ideals.

    Whichever direction, ya or na. The consequence of voting on prop 8 is sensationalizing one of many topics relating to human sexuality. Some say, (all levels) educational institutions will be required to include subject matter, material and concepts that present homosexuality.

    When positive mechanisms are imparted, I think children can deal positively with just about any subject matter. However, shouldn’t we work on imparting the positive mechanisms in the minds of society, rather than in the mandates of the state?

    Let me pose this question. Why do we mandate at every educational institution in the United States that facilities for hygienic purpose be segregated by gender? Why is there a separate place for men or women to shower (locker room)? Is this separation only applied to adolescents? The reasons are not simplified or explainable as a matter of gender.

    Honestly, hasn’t the complex matter of sexuality been at the root of gender segregation?

    Let me pose another question. Why shouldn’t (porn) adult-entertainment industry representatives be allowed to attend high-school and junior college career days? Is there anything that currently prevents them? Why not allow adult-entertainment stars to speak at career day in elementary schools?

    What new coping mechanisms are little Johnny expected to develop during the awkward teenage years. Not only will he have to cope with his feelings of physical attraction towards a “certain” girl in his third period gym class. Now he will have to cope with the attention he is receiving from Billy and Bobby, the two gay boys in his third period gym class. What positive advice will you impart to Johnny when he tells you about how awkward he feels showering with boys that are openly attracted to him?

    I suggest first testing out how receptive society would be with the state mandating that Heterosexuals must use group shower-rooms within every education institution in the United States. In fact, no longer allow any gender segregated bathrooms/restrooms or showers anywhere.

    Because, what is being said in the sub-text on this matter. Is that homosexual’s and bi-sexual’s hold an evolved sense of self and self control beyond that of heterosexual’s. The moral and ethical compass of the homosexual and bi-sexual is beyond reproach. Particularly, when involving the subject of carnal nature.

    If I'm worng on this last thought. Who's going to volunteer their wife, girlfriend or duaghter to test this?

    Who's wife is ready to go into work tomarrow, and listen to a conversation with thier female boss or co-worker that starts..."I was talking to your husband in the shower at the gym and..."

    Really, is your ego ready for that?

  6. Someone, please argue against the point of view I expressed. If for nothing more than to contiune to advancing the subject.


  7. No arguement here Dude. I am in fear of this thing they so loving and acceptingly call the "evolution of society." I am in fear not for myself, but for these children of the new age. Whats to be evolved into? A one gender society? So scary.

  8. Come on you brilliant minded people and speak up!

    I just had to throw this out there in hopes that.

    Perhaps, I can aid in keeping the talk going with this…

    One of the comments seemed to be suggesting that if Prop 8 where to pass that additional -personally intrusive- legislative acts on love would follow.

    - that they should not have the right. Seems to me on an issue as personal as who one is going to love and partner with for life that the state should damned well stay the hell out of it. What is next? Are they going to regulate who you get to love or who gets to do _______to you? get the idea!?

    Ok, the fact is they (the state) all ready legislate who gets to love who.
    And they (the state) too legislates who does what to whom .

    They even legistate the where, when and how.


    Incest is a statutory crime. Incest: The crime of sexual relations or marriage taking place between a male and female who are so closely linked by blood or affinity that such activity is prohibited by law.

    Necrophilia: is a statutory crime punishable by up to three years in prison.

    Bigamy: The law in every state prohibits a man or a woman from being married to more than one living person at a time. The act or condition of a person marrying another person while still being lawfully married to a third person.

    Sodomy : As of early 2003, eight states had laws that barred heterosexual and homosexual sodomy.

    STATUTORY RAPE: these crimes are based on the premise that until a person reaches a certain age, he is legally incapable of consenting to sexual intercourse.


Bring it! Toss in your quarter.