Monday, June 9, 2008

Why do I do this?

It starts off idyllic. A beautiful, cool morning, not a cloud in the sky. Three wonderfully behaved kids (oh wait, these are my kids I am talking about) correction, three mildly tame children set free to run and scamp about. "Run" I say, "Climb like monkeys" I cheer, "quit holding onto my leg".

And for twenty seconds they do, however it didn not help that the kids knew I had food with me. Food is an event and LAWRD help me if I miss a snack time or meal. I have learned they are no different than wild dogs, they will eat their family if necessary. I keep a constant supply of treats on my person.

This is proof I brought food, apples, water and fish.

This is the minute and a half before the next complaint, "I'm hungry, I'm thristy, I want to go home". It appears they are having fun.

"Hey what's that next to the tree? Come on guys look at this!"

I think to myself, sure a little fun running barefoot in damp grass and wait what is that on your legs? Uh, what are you guys doing? HOLD ON A SECOND! What is that? That is not dirt, THAT IS MUD!

Hey Boy! Get back over here! Let me wipe that stuff off your legs! Hey, I am talking to you! Where are you going!

Awwwwww MAN! WATER! How come water needs to be in the fray? I swear somebody left this here on purpose. And yes, the boy is doing a pre push up before lying flat in the water now filled and expertly stirred with this................

Now this is only the begining. Take a gander at this little fruit loop.

People pay a pretty hefty sum of doughnuts for this crap, smearing it all over the face, legs, arms, my kids get the free stuff. The free stuff is not regulated people. Who really knows what the hell is in it. Listen, I am not afraid of a little mud now and then but this stuff is extra sticky, extra, well, muddy.

Even the Itsy Bitsy is not afraid, I think she thought she was famous and leaving hand prints for Grauman's Chinese Theatre. This one is going to be a star. She is F.I.E.R.C.E.

"Look Momma! Look! It's mud!" I say "I know Sweet Pea, I know. You know you are riding home naked?"

And he is safe, but not from a bath.

A face only a mom could love, and he was trying out disguises for his fake driver's license. I told him he needed to pick a mustache color that matches his hair colour and goes all the way across the lip.

Ok, these are just pictures of a face that blows me to pieces. So completely gorgeous, I am sure they mixed her up at the hospital and her "real parents" are Brangalina. I do not see any genetic connection what so ever except the fact I love her.

Well no so much this one. Snapped right before the "tude" came out, I made them all strip bare before they got in to the car for the ride home.

The moral of this story is check the mud before get in it. What ever is in this particular mud has not come out of the clothes after three vigerous washings. I have now resorted to soaking the clothes in various products all at the same time to try to get the stain, YES IT DID STAIN. It took less than ten minutes to come home and I immediately put the stuff in the washer, thinking to myself I am doing great, I am washing out the mess so there won't be a stain. WRONG! It is a miracle I got the crap off my kids, two soap bars later.

1 comment:

  1. WOW! MORE MORE MORE MORE - i want more picture stories! I was so there with you! In spirit. Although for a brief moment I could feel the mud on my toes even though my toes are in shoes beneath my working desk. I think I would rather be in mud right now.


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