Thursday, July 15, 2010

There and Back Again, a Mommy's Tale

Today is very special to me.  This day is an end and a beginning. 

The beginning was seven years ago on a warm summer morning.  I had been a mom for 3 months.  I was tired, still off work, going to school and waiting in a long line with a lawn chair to sign up for daycare.  There I sat with my baby, my dad as a backup, and multitudes of other moms hoping to secure the coveted spot in the facility.  Between filling out insurance papers, shot records, pay stubs, applications, every three hour feedings, pumping milk (I know TMI but it was totally part of my current life), diapers, no sleep, no sleep, and finally no sleep.

The morning I returned to work was the day I brought my baby girl Kat into the infant room at my work site daycare.  I sat on the floor with my girl for 45 minutes, I showed up early because I wanted to check out the women who would have their paws on my baby.  I sat on the floor, hot with anxiety, running the same script in my head over and over again.  "A lot of women have to work, a lot of women have to use daycare, make the time you spend with her count.  Don't worry, you aren't abandoning her."  I cried everyday for two weeks.  I went everyday on my lunch hour to play with her for 3 years. 

Then I found myself filling out forms in triplicate.  Taking home truck loads of art work, plastic bottles filled with beads, sand, water, boo boo reports, and wet clothes.  I continued to go on my lunch hour to spend time with the kids, splitting up my time through out the week with each one. I only cried every other day.  Running the same script in my head, replacing "her" with "them". 

Today is the ending.  After 4 more years my babies are going to kindergarten and my girl is starting 2nd grade.  I realized this will be the last day I will be walking into the pre-school  that has been a part of our lives for the past seven years.  Each and every teacher face I know well.  They love my kids as much as I do.  The proverb of "it takes a village to raise a child" is true.  The support and guidance I received from these skilled women has been invaluable.  For that, I am indebted to them and grateful.

My children helped me grow and learn as a mom, so did the advice and time I spent in the classrooms with the kid's teachers.  Everyday is a new challenge, I look forward to each one.  The evenings sitting and doing homework, trying to make veggies look more appealing, open houses, field trips, sleepovers, watching my children walk toward their classrooms while I stand at the gate and see their future open wide with each step they take. 

I am the luckiest mommy to fabulous, mischievous, inquisitive, happy children.  I love being a mom. But most of all, I love my kids. 

Follow your inner moonlight, don't hide the madness. ~ A. Ginsberg

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