As I browse the calendar and make mental note of the following:
1. This weekend ends Daylight Savings Time. What I have learned in the past few weeks (to which I have been apparently ignorant of) is that when you call the East Coast during those lovable months where time is moved forward, one must indicate to Easterners to call you back using DST not PST. PST or Pacific Standard Time is for those chilly months where time moves backward. I can't tell you folks how worried I am about all those East Coasters I have simply confused over the years not indicating the correct crazy Cali lingo and movement of time and space. I shudder to think about it. Really, I do. It is a wonder I can look myself in the mirror.
2. I must take down the Halloween house garb and promptly replace said decorations with Christmas. Pass directly over Thanksgiving and go for the gusto. The kids, who shall remain nameless in this narrative, have already started the chorus of "when are we putting up the tree? How is Santa getting through the glass? Can we put lights in my room?" Their custom Holiday CD is already in the player in the car and will begin the long loop of songs right to the bitter end. Holy Mary full of Grace, help me make it through the month. If ever I shall feel I shall scream with another chorus of Alvin and the Chipmunks All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth or muppets screeching Deck the Halls, let it be lessened by the soothing baritone of Bing's White Christmas or Johnny Mathis' Chestnuts Roasting over an Open Fire. Holy Mother I implore you let my season be bright.
3. OH MIGHTY OF ALL THAT IS HOLIDAY THERE IS ONLY SEVEN WEEKS LEFT! Did the space/time continuum change up on me? Have I entered a worm hole? Black hole? Rabbit hole? The commercials have already started the frenzied, large pupils, and Cheshire cat grins of three unnamed weasels. In the arsenal of "look how damn cute I am" they have mastered the tilted head, round eyes, and softly spoken "Please Mommy, May I?". Ok, how do you fight that one? My resolve is weakening. Not fair, not fair, not fair! Alright you over processed holiday season, you overstuffed tinsel toting entity, I will have my day in this life or the next for THIS IS SPARTA! Ok, so I mixed a couple of my favorite movies lines in there for drama. Can you guess them?
I have not even begun or considered the inevitable event of heading off the stores for shopping. My least favourite thing to do and really the only big stresser to overcome. What do I get, will they like it, should I include the return receipt in the package. Honestly, I am a fan of gift cards. The way I look at it, between the time anyone mentions the infamous words "I really like that" by the time the day comes, they may not like it so much anymore. Some think gift cards are impersonal, showing someone they really don't "know" them, pishaw, I think just the mere fact you thought of that person and giving them an opportunity to pick something up for themselves is a wonderful thing. Especially for little kids, yeah they like the glitz but actually going into the store and making a choice is learning experience too. In short, I have got seven weeks to figure it all out.
What are you thinking about?
Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. ~ William S. Burroughs
